A comment someone made on here was interesting to me.
“how about ‘guys have to stop calling girls sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for you to call each other sluts and whores.’ how about that, instead of placing the blame on the victims of patriarchy. I mean she’s absolutely right, we shouldn’t call each other that, but let’s be clear: this problem did not originate with women.”
I get it. I get that this all goes back to patriarchy, and I can understand that the way that it is worded in the film Mean Girls does have an element of victim blaming to it. There is victim blaming in the statement “it gives boys permission”. And that’s a problem. It’s a problem that women shoulder responsibility for things that patriarchal society throws at us.
I think that there is also some underlying (probably unconscious) patriarchal ideology in the comment that was made. While, certainly, it’d be nice if guys stopped calling girls names like “slut” and “whore”, I don’t quite think it’ll happen like that. It may. Men may suddenly decide collectively to reverse patriarchy and aim towards equality. But as women, why would we wait for men to take that step? Why can we not take the lead, and be the example for the next generations?
That’s how it happens to begin with, right? Someone long ago made a sexist comment, and it continued on down generations. So instead of saying “well, it shouldn’t be “lets not call ourselves sluts” because that’s victim-blaming” (which totally, I get it, not disagreeing), but why not say “I’m not going to take on responsibility for the past, but I am going to lead by example and encourage others to do the same, and hopefully, as a community of feminists and allies, we can pass down ideas of gender equality down to the next generation instead of the sexist shit that my great grandfather passed down to my grandfather”?
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi.